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Hyperbole will destroy Cipriani
By Ronan Early
YES, yes. We know it’s an Irish paper and we’re about to shove
a hastily-arrived-at theory about an English player out into the biting
cold but, as they say in call centres from Delhi to Dublin: “bear
with us.”
This is an issue that mainly affects young sportsmen wearing English white
but like Coronation Street and Corn Flakes and Fred Perry shirts and hen
nights and Super-Dooper-Grand-Slam-Sky-Sports-Sundays and County Councils
and come to think of it, counties, the idea could spread west. And it
would be to our detriment.
In case you haven’t guessed, and let’s face it how could you
have, we’re talking about the over-the-top exaltation of every semi-talented
athlete that puts boot to ball. From Paul Gascoigne to David Beckham to
Wayne Rooney the British press have built them up and knocked them down
and built then up and knocked them down again and again so many times
that it’s almost funny.
In rugby they’ve tried it with Jonny Wilkinson, though the fact
that their greatest ever No. 10 takes modesty to an extent that it always
appeared his awesome talent bothered him greatly means he was to all intents
immune. Though something tells me his successor won’t get out the
other side so unaffected.
Danny Cipriani is to 2008 what Gazza was to 1990 and Rooney was to 2002
— the boy of the moment. That fact that Cipriani has the teen idol
looks to go with his undoubted flair for rugby means he is doubly screwed;
this youngster is going to get it (unsolicited publicity that is) from
every angle. Any thoughts of a normal life are now remote for the Wasps
outside-half.
It’s kind of sad. Looking at Cipriani now is a bit like looking
at one of those photographs of a smiling man, blissfully unaware that
the raging torrent of the flooded river in the backdrop is about to sweep
him away.
Of course Cipriani has already felt the sting of the tabloids; he’s
been stitched up by a couple of kiss-and-tells, one of which, somewhat
hilariously, seems to have been with a she who may have previously been
a he. But believe me by the time he’s gone through the wringer he’ll
think those hatchet jobs were a birthday present.
Over the next decade, providing he doesn’t get driven from the game
prematurely by injury or loss of form or appetite, he is set to be the
staple of the gutter media. But worse than that he is likely to be ruined
as a human being by attracting a whole heap of sycophants, hangers-on
and flatterers.
We’re off and running in that regard already.
People you would regards as fairly level-headed are talking him up ridiculously.
During the commentary of the EDF semi-final for Wasps against Leicester
at the weekend none other than legendary bruiser and usually bullshit-free-zone
Brian Moore was at it.
Every side step and flicked pass was met with near orgasmic delight by
the former England hooker who climaxed when Danny Boy scored a consolation
try in the last minutes.
“I’ll tell you what I like about that,” gushed Moorzo
as Cipriani sulkily brushed away the congratulations of teammates on the
way back to the half-way line. “I like his face. He’s not
happy even though he’s scored a try because his team has lost. Good
attitude.”
I don’t know Brian maybe I’m missing something but I didn’t
see anything out off the ordinary in Cipriani’s reaction; there
aren’t too many players in any sport that enthusiastically celebrate
consolation scores.
In the studio after the game Jeremy Guscott and Austin Healy picked up
the batten. Give him the 10 shirt, let him go the nightclub, so long as
he produces on the pitch it’s all cool. You don’t want to
stifle him. On and on and bloody on, kissing his ass like they were middle
managers.
I picked up the newspaper and it got better. In the Sunday Times Stuart
Barnes called for him to made England captain. Earth to “Barnesy”:
He is 20 years old. At what point did reality continue straight ahead
and you take the slip-road?
Elsewhere in the Sunday Times there was an excellent interview by David
Walsh with the boy of the moment. Cipriani came across well. As grounded
as one could hope given the absurd hyperbole. He seems to realise his
own limitations (mainly defensive) and is keen to work on them with his
club and international coaches. He understands the tabloid lust for his
indiscretions and acknowledges the embarrassment it causes to those close
to him.
He doesn’t seem to buy into the hype that he is up there with Dan
Carter vying for the status as the best number ten on the planet, to be
decided on the summer tour.
Truth is: He’s barely the best 10 in England. Leicester’s
Andy Goode outshone him on Sunday. Shane Geraghty has never been in his
shadow coming through the ranks. Were it not for a series of frustrating
injuries he could be at the centre of this madness now. Every cloud…
And as for the home nations, do you honestly think he is better than James
Hook? Would you go into battle with Cipriani over Ronan O’Gara right
now? Think ROG is yesterday’s man? Well what happened when they
went head-to-head at Thomond earlier in the year then? Cipriani didn’t
let anyone down but O’Gara dictated the game and was the key man
in Munster’s decisive win.
As demonstrated in his interview with Walsh, Cipriani, now, is the last
person to buy into all the nonsense. But, in time, buy into it he probably
will. It’s human nature: If you’re surrounded by nothing but
people telling you how fantastic you are then you tend to end up believing
it. You tend to expect things to go your way and when they don’t
react with petulance: Much like a spoilt child. Spoilt children aren’t
born that way they are made that way.
Likewise arrogant, insolent sportsmen don’t start out that way they
are indulged beyond belief and eventually all the bullshit distorts their
view of what’s real and what’s false. It took David Beckham
a long time to get a handle on himself after 1998. Wayne Rooney is only
now showing signs of coming around after his early years of indiscipline.
Poor old Gazza never came out the other side. We hope he will.
In Ireland we haven’t, yet, got to the stage where we put our sportsmen
on such a ridiculous pedestal. Over here, you’d think they might
have learned by now how nothing destroys talent more than ludicrous puffery.
The press may not have learned; they may not care either way. Hopefully,
for the sake of Danny Cipriani, he’s learned from the mistakes of
those who went before otherwise he’s in for an unfulfilling time:
Tomorrow’s ‘where did it all go wrong?’ story. |
